Monday, October 10, 2016

*OMG GOD IS GOOD !!!* At The Office Pt. 1

YOUGUISE!

I got a job!! I GOT A FREAKIN' JOB! 
 
I know, normal Erica really wouldn't care one way or the other but broke-and-begging-my-parents-for-an-allowance-at-21 Erica certainly does. I know you guys may have seen in my previous post YIKES that I really really dreaded interviews and the whole aspect of job hunting but it finally paid off!
It all happened last week Friday. After a night of rendezvousing with a total trash-bucket of a man (he apparently has a daughter and is getting back with his baby mama, LMAO I know how ghetto & cliche) I woke up and got ready for an interview I had at 12:30p. Understand, I reluctantly prepared for this interview because--and I know it's negative but--I have gone to over 20 interviews in the past 7 months all with the promises of a call back or second interview and all turning up nothing but dead-ends and disappointments. I literally felt so depressed; I was running out of my expensive Sephora-purchased makeup and I didn't have the money to replace it let alone waste it on yet another interview. I had just gone to an interview like 2 weeks prior to this one and it had ended with the interview-lady literally saying, and this is a direct quote "Wow, you have thoroughly impressed me, definitely stay close to your phone we should be calling you back for a second interview soon!" all to receive an email the next day saying "Thanks but we picked someone else". I was trying so hard to be professional and I gave a heartfelt appreciative respond email saying "Thank you for your time, hope you have a wonderful week, blahblahblah" but inside I was typing 'Thanks for wasting my time and my gas you stupid bitch'. It was all I could do not to send that message but I fought the urge and sent the polite email instead. I was pretty discouraged after that one and I just felt like what is EVEN the point anymore but I kept sending out resumes and hoping for the best. That's when I got a response. The message came from someone we'll call--for the sake of some privacy--The Boss, and they were asking if I could come in for an interview. I definitely felt that twinge of anger and disinterest because of my previous experiences but I tried to force myself to be okay with it. Plus, I send out about 20 resumes a day and only ever get about 3 callbacks a week so I couldn't really turn this offer down, especially with my parents breathing down my neck every 5 seconds badgering me on whether or not I had a job yet. So, with everything in me, I replied that I could meet and that I'd see them Friday at 12:30p just as requested. Friday morning, I was a little hungover from the night before with TrashBucketBoy. I really didn't want to go to the interview still and thought about blowing it off, but I knew my parents would talk me to death with stupid lectures on why I'm lucky to live for free in their home and nothing sounded as awful as that. Plus I really didn't want to stay with TBB. He is such a garbage dump (and so was his house) that I really didn't want to stay there a second longer so I cleaned up his place, took this cool bottle of Cognac he had and dipped out. I drove to the interview in about 20 minutes and once I parked out front I sat there, staring at the building thinking what if I just drove away? Would it really be so bad? How can I even be sure this isn't another dud interview with the promise of more only to turn up absolutely nothing? I contemplated leaving for a few more minutes but with 12:30 rounding the corner quickly I rolled on some of my Mystic Hindu Perfume, put on my most genuine smile and braved what was to come. When I walked in all I could think about was my irritating parents, constantly nagging and complaining about how I don't help my family or do anything. I wanted this job so badly I could taste it and, when a handsome metro guy walked out, with the most beautiful head of wavy, shiny brown hair and quaintly but warmly greeted me I already felt I could actually stomach this place. This man we're going to refer to as Sutra, and seriously his hair--among other great things--was from the gods. It was long; like mid-back-length and milk chocolate in color. He had mermaid waves in it which could easily put the Wen Hair Commercial models to shame and he was dressed very well. He told me to wait on the black suede couch that was adorned with a single pillow screen printed with a puppy. It wouldn't be my choice of decor but it was still a charming little waiting area. Only a couple seconds after I sat down a gorgeous tall blonde Ukrainian-looking woman with an accent to match came out wearing a form-fitting maroon dress. At first I was like…this job is for a secretarial position right? Because judging by her look I felt like I was on a go-see for Ford Model Management. A, is what we'll call the model-looking woman and she promptly shook my hand and led me to the back office where The Boss was. The Boss was raven-haired man with a chiseled face and slight stubble. He too looked like a model and I really began to feel confused. All three of the people I'd just met were striking in beauty and I thought I was interviewing at a construction company so I was like what? At my old construction-secretary position the people I worked with were literally exactly what you'd expect from construction-office-workers. Frumpy, unkempt, average and (if applicable) married by the skin of their teeth. Everyone except the Vice Presidents of course. They were all gods. But the people I frequently worked around were total 1-4's on a Hot Scale of 1-10. That's kinda how I schmoozed my way through everything, I just showed up looking pretty and everyone seemed to let me get away with things because they were like well she brings us more attention because she's good to look at so who cares. This was NOT the case at this company. I'm not sure if there are more people working there that I just didn't meet but MAN O MAN the people I did meet were all gorgeous. I was like O_O… Oh. So anyway, back to the story… So The Boss firmly shook my hand but quickly returned to scribbling on his papers. He briefly looked up at me and smiled or asked me a few questions while keeping his eyes glued to his computer but he tried to look interested. Noting his body language I felt like I was just another straw in haystack to him; like he had literally interviewed 20 other girls like me that day and was just ready to be done. A sat at an identical desk right beside him. She wore a chic diamond band on her ring-finger and was the only other person in the office where The Boss was which made me wonder if the two were husband and wife. Which would be completely fitting considering the two of them were both stunning. I honestly couldn't believe they were in a line of work that I'd consider boring and ugly. They seemed more like the editors of Vogue or Fashion Week coordinators. I sat on the couch in this office which faced their desks. Like I said The Boss asked standard questions like where I was from and where I went to school but A  did most of the interviewing. She asked my previous job experience and what all I was and wasn't capable of. I answered as well and as honestly as possible but all I could hear in my head was my parents saying "Make sure you tell them you can do anything" and "Don't wear that shirt if it hasn't been ironed or they'll think you're messy". I didn't want to lie to A + The Boss and tell them I was Jesus Christ and could never screw anything up but I didn't want to sound like I wasn't capable of doing what they needed. I've always gone into interviews confident because I'm a very articulate individual and I almost always do research on the company beforehand so I have something to talk about when I go in. My parents, however, have filled my head with worries (whether intentionally or not) because I hadn't gotten any callbacks from all the interviews I was going on and I guess they chalked it up to me not knowing how to correctly approach an interview situation. I told them I knew what I was doing but they were thoroughly convinced it was in some way my fault every time. Because, y'know, it couldn't possibly be that the people were assholes or just looking for someone with a Bachelor's Degree. So while I was being interviewed by A half of me was trying to do my best while the other half was just trying not to screw up. A seemed sort of impressed but I don't know she's European and they don't seem to get as smiley as Americans (or at least from what I've experienced). The Boss smiled a lot but like I said he hardly looked at me and I usually use that as an indicator on whether I'm doing well or not, so i was completely at a loss. I also didn't get to ask the questions I usually ask; y'know the ones that make me sound like I actually did due diligence on finding out more about them, because everything I could think of A already began to say. When I wanted to ask what exactly they Remodeled, she started saying "So our company remodels…" when I thought about saying "What all would I do" she kept talking saying "Anyway, what we'd have you do is…" I felt like all I was doing was nodding like a retard and smiling, every now and then interjecting with a "Right" or an "Yes, exactly". It was horrible and I thought (as pessimistic as it sounds) that they were unimpressed and unexcited with my interview. I kept on smiling and finally A told me "Well, Erica, we like you but we are in the early stages of interviewing so we will let you know sometime next week whether it's a yes or a no." and then she smiled. I thanked her for everything and then I turned to The Boss and smiled at him. That's when The Boss stood from his desk (the first time during the whole time I met him) and smiled widely, literally grinning from ear-to-ear and shook my hand firmly. I prayed to God my hand wasn't too sweaty and I told him "The Boss, it was a pleasure meeting you". Something about saying pleasure makes people feel better than saying it was Nice to meet them, I've noticed. Then I turned to A and told her the same thing. When I was shaking A's hand I could still feel The Boss smiling behind me. I felt happy but I wasn't positive this meant anything. After all I'd been to thousands of interviews where everyone was all smiles and handshakes only to get nothing. Zilch. Nada. So, after our final goodbyes I turned and left the room, pulling the door almost-shut behind me. When I left, I softly called out and said "Bye, Sutra" and I could tell he was smiling because he sort of chuckled and said "Bye!" I wasn't sure he knew it was me saying goodbye and I wasn't confident he remembered what I told him my name was but I felt good knowing I remembered his and I think he was pleased as well. I left feeling very excited and hopeful that i might be considered for the position. When I got in my car I drove away smiling, excited for the possibility and then I went home. When I told my parents they were happy but they just wanted to know when I would hear from them again. I relayed the message A gave me and they replied saying "Ok, well let's just be positive and wait for next Friday". I made myself lunch, hung with the family and then took a nap for 7 hours. I hadn't realized how tired I was from my time with TBB and how I was still a little hungover but once i lied down in bed it hit me like a ton of bricks. Sleeping was a good way for me to pass the time and not listen to my parents yell at me for something so I didn't think about getting up at all. But then, after my 7-hour slumber I rolled over and saw I had some SnapChat messages. I thought they might be from this guy I like (not TBB don't worry) so I grabbed my phone and scrubbed my eyes so my vision would clear up. When I looked closely I realized it wasn't just messages from SnapChat but a missed call and a voicemail! My eyes INSTANTLY cleared and I read the little info beneath the message. My iPhone said "VoiceMail Message: Maybe The Boss" which it does when it recognizes a number but I don't have it saved into my contacts. I LITERALLY JUMPED OUT OF THE COVERS AND GRIPPED MY PHONE FOR DEAR LIFE literally bringing it so close to my face that the glass steamed up from my breath. I slid the message which unlocked my phone and listened to the voicemail. A was telling me  to give her a callback ASAP but didn't say why. I was confused but I was like, is this an offer? I mean WHY ELSE would she need to call me?! I told my parents right away and they said she was probably going to offer me the job. I kept doubting it though asking "Why would she tell me that I definitely wouldn't know 'til next weekend and then call me back on the SAME DAY offering me a job?!" but my parents kept reassuring me saying "I don't know but you're hired". So I went back, called A and left a voicemail. The next day, after I hadn't received a callback from A, I checked my email to see if anything had transpired. That's when I saw an email from The Boss titled Offer. Tears literally welled up in my eyes.
 I clicked it and the message read "Erica, it was nice meeting with you today. We'd like to offer you the position". I actually screamed, then I slammed my laptop shut, jumped up and ran to tell my parents.
They were excited, I was ecstatic and the whole rest of the day was wonderful. Finally, everyone, after 7 long months of unemployment and selling some art here and there but mainly relying on my parents, the horrible journey is over. I have a job; and even though 8 hours of my day is now lost for now and into the foreseeable future, I am working again. I have money now. I have freedom from my irritating-ass mother and father. I can finally start making moves again to save my money and move out! I am so so thankful to God and I am going to do my best to be the absolute best, top-notch employee of the year this company has ever seen. So, get ready everyone. I start my first day tomorrow,  and I'm really stoked for what the day will bring. I might even enjoy this position, who knows! So, until then, everyone have a great day! I hope your life is going ok and I hope you're making moves to get what you want! Until next time everyone, be blessed, give your best and remember,
*Please, Pink Responsibly.

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